By James Peters
For the CVPost
More than three million children witness domestic violence in their homes every year, according to Safe Horizon, the largest victims’ services agency in the United States.
These children also suffer abuse or neglect at high rates – 30 to 60 percent, according to the agency. In the Chippewa Valley, Bolton Refuge House in Eau Claire and the Family Support Center in Chippewa Falls provided services to nearly 500 children in 2014, according to Michael Hoadley, director of community investment for United Way of the Greater Chippewa Valley.
Children living in households in which domestic abuse takes place exist in an environment of continual tension and fear. They carry this anxiety with them wherever they go, potentially affecting school performance and social relationships, Hoadley added.
The effect of children’s exposure to domestic violence is significant. In fact, in the opinion of Bolton Refuge House Executive Director Pat Stein, “It’s just as damaging to a child to witness it as it is to experience it.”
Erika Stevens, domestic violence youth advocate for the Family Support Center, agreed.
“The threat of violence is equally as triggering and traumatic as the act of violence,” she said.
Even if children don’t witness the violence directly, their imagination will make up for or magnify the violence of words or actions they hear behind closed doors, she added.
Emotional, cognitive and physical development of a child is most critical from birth to five. For children growing up in a home with domestic violence, that development is adversely affected, Stevens said.
Negative effects evident even in infancy
Even in infants, effects such as low weight, the absence of smiling, and general disengagement are evident. Stein said that often a parent who is a domestic violence victim will think the infant is simply an “easy baby,” and not realize the child is being adversely affected by the violence in the home.
A critical aspect of domestic violence is its tendency to perpetuate future violence. Living through it can lead to habits of violence and coercion as a means of resolving conflict, Hoadley said.
According to a 2010 report on Adverse Childhood Experiences in Wisconsin by the Children’s Trust Fund, there is also a strong association between these traumatic experiences and mental and physical health struggles in adulthood. Adults who have witnessed domestic abuse as children were found to be more likely to have physical and mental health problems, engage in high-risk behaviors, have a lower quality of life and be more likely to lack health care.
Being exposed to violence between their parents also has been found to be a strong predictor of whether children will experience domestic violence in adulthood, Hoadley noted. Long-term effects of exposure in childhood will lead to men who are more likely to abuse their partners and women who are less likely to seek help when they experience domestic violence.
Early intervention is key
Without some sort of early intervention the cycle will continue, creating new assailants and victims, Hoadley said. The best hope to end, or at least greatly reduce, domestic violence may well be to focus on children, he added.
Stein, from Bolton House, stressed the importance of establishing each child’s individual needs at the start of any efforts to intervene. This requires getting information from a parent and initiating dialogue between child and parent or guardian.
This not only allows a caseworker to get to know the child and situation better, but also builds the child-parent relationship, she said. That relationship often has been damaged because the parent was too overwhelmed as an abuse victim to be effective in the role of parent.
“It’s heartbreaking to see a young child consoling their parent,” Stein said, expressing how fractured this relationship can become.
A key factor in addressing domestic abuse trauma is the age of children who are involved. Stevens, from the Family Support Center, described working with her younger clients through games and activities to bring out what the child can’t verbalize. Last year, the center began using art therapy, and Stevens said it has been extremely successful for both children and families.
Teens need sense of safety and control
With teenagers, the most important key to dealing with the emotional trauma of violence in the home is to establish an environment that is safe and confidential and where they feel in control.
“Research shows the importance of youth having a healthy relationship with an adult,” Stevens said. When the advocate, as an adult, is able to validate the feelings shared by a teen, Stevens said it can be a healing experience.
Safety planning is another important element in building a child’s resilience, both Stein and Stevens said. These strategies – personal to each child and family – identify safe people, places and practices and provide ways to calm a child’s nervous systems in times of stress, they added.
Research-based strategies and principles to build resilience to the traumas children experience when encountering domestic violence also include removing blame; fostering self-esteem; modeling and encouraging empathy, kindness and respect; developing skills for communicating their stress; and teaching parents how to talk to their children about violence.
Such proven models of service provide the best chance of breaking the cycle of domestic violence, Hoadley said.
He noted that domestic violence is one of four key focus areas as United Way moves forward with its Community Health Initiative partnership. Recognizing the importance of helping children in households where domestic violence has taken place will be a key component to significantly reducing this serious issue over time, he said.
(Editor’s note: James Peters is the marketing director for United Way of the Greater Chippewa Valley. He also is a member of the CVPost board of directors.)