Thursday, Oct. 22
By Katherine Schneider, for the CVPost
When an esteemed former colleague like Gregg Moore sends Eau Claire County Board members an email about civility, it’s time to pay attention.
Since I had the privilege of offering the moment of reflection at last Tuesday’s (Oct. 20) County Board meeting, I decided to focus on civility. I did a little research and found there’s a lot out there on the subject.
Civility is more than gritted teeth politeness. Experts from George Washington to Mr. Rogers have written about it.
Human tendencies to self-absorption, callousness and manipulation have always existed. In our current polarized national political climate, with fears about the economy and health at fever pitch and lack of face to face discourse, the situation is worse than usual.
As one of Mr. Rogers’ songs phrased it: “What do you do with the mad that you feel, when you feel so mad you could bite?”
He answers that question with “In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” Similarly, he said on another occasion, “What really matters is helping others win too, even if it means slowing down and changing our course now and then.”
‘Speak Your Peace’ guidelines
I pulled out the list of nine tools for civility from the “Speak Your Peace” project (www.dsaspeakyourpeace.org/about.html) our county engaged in last winter and am challenging myself to grade myself after each meeting on how I did on them.
Did I: pay attention? listen? be inclusive? refrain from gossip? show respect? look for opportunities to agree? apologize? give constructive criticism, not personal attack? and take responsibility for my reactions, instead of blaming others?
As Mr. Rogers said: “There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”
Editor’s note: If you were to click on the link that Kathie provides above, you’d find that the subtitle for the “Speak Your Peace” heading is “The Civility Project.” You would also find a quote from Henry James that this Duluth-Superior civility effort features at the top of its home page: “Three things in human life are important: The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind.”
To read previous installments of “The Corona Chronicles,” click here