Thursday, July 16
By Katherine Schneider, for the CVPost
Remember back in pre-COVID days when, if someone said they needed to have an “awkward” discussion, you figured they were going to talk about sex?
Now with the “new normal,” the “awkward” discussions are about in-person interactions in general.
A recent NPR “Weekend Edition Sunday” segment was entitled “Sex Experts Give Advice on Safe Social Interaction.” It talked about the same things being necessary nowadays for a discussion about getting together for coffee, as used to be necessary for getting together for sex: people must build trust, communicate their values and needs and then seek consent.
I can think of initial get togethers I had during the pandemic which didn’t go particularly well because we hadn’t talked about basics like: Would I offer food? Would we be indoors or outdoors? etc.
In contrast, at a recent gathering, everyone was masked except when drinking out of individual bottles or cans, everyone stayed outside and mostly stayed six feet apart. At least one person was high risk so everyone adjusted to that level of safety.
Mixed reactions
As time goes on, I’m seeing less pressuring to give in to someone else’s less restrictive wishes. However, I also don’t see a lot of in the moment requests like “wash your hands before you hand me the bottled beverage.” People are starting to realize “no means no” but are still stumbling over asking for what they need.
The spread of COVID in bars makes me think “beer goggles”—when you see things through a beery lens because you’ve had more than enough to drink – are a phenomenon in making risky distancing decisions, just like risky sexual decisions.
This discussion of social distancing will be something new to add to Sex Education classes, whether school is in session in person or virtually.
Ah, for the good old days when the big question was “should I bring flowers to the hostess?”