By Katherine Schneider, for the CVPost
January’s library reading challenge was to read a book about starting something new.
Among the recommended books was This Is Where You Belong by Melody Warnick. It’s about adjusting to a new community and makes the point over and over that the more you invest, the more you feel a part of that new town.
To take this in a new direction, I’m thinking about what to do when someone says “No, you don’t belong here” in some way. A recent week provided two examples for me.
One was my bank suddenly not wanting me to use my signature stamp on some documents, after 30 years of accepting it. The second was a Zoom meeting about diversity, where I was muted because my screen reader talked at the beginning of the meeting. It sounded like background noise to whoever was in charge of muting folks.
The Warnick book assumed the town would be at least neutral, if not welcoming, to a new person. As my two examples illustrate, that’s not always the case.
Two possible reactions
I had two choices in reacting to those “You don’t belong” messages. I could agree with – or at least accept – them, and walk away. Or I could double down and say “No! I do belong!”
In both situations, I did the latter. I exhorted and encouraged the bank person to advocate with the company to take my stamp because it is legal. He did and it worked!
On the Zoom meeting, I emailed the person in charge of muting about my screen reader and asked to be unmuted. She complied and even apologized for muting me.
Three new relevant books
Just in time to remind me that I’m not alone in feeling sometimes welcomed and sometimes not, three excellent new books came to my attention:
- A Beginners Guide to America by Roya Hakakian;
- Tell Everyone on This Train I love Them by Maeve Higgins; and
- Go Back to Where You Came From: And Other Helpful Recommendations on How to Become American by Wajahat Ali.
The authors all suggest doing what I do: work twice as hard, celebrate the successes and make funny stories out of the rejections when possible.
Here’s to new beginnings in belonging!
Kathleen Campbell says
Kathie continues to uplift and inspire me!
Thank you!