Friday, May 14
By Katherine Schneider, for the CVPost
The mood of the moment, according to the pundits of such things, is “languishing.”
Symptoms include difficulty concentrating, reduced productivity, joylessness and feeling aimless. The intense fear, anxiety and grief of earlier in the pandemic have given way to a feeling of “blah.”
I was kind of skeptical, at least for myself, that I was languishing. After all, I’m fully vaccinated, have a roof over my head, food in the fridge and a wonderful black Lab by my side. How could I be languishing?
‘. . . I caught myself whining’
Then I caught myself whining to a friend about getting the wrong kind of butter from my grocery delivery, as if it was the end of the world. Yes, there were four sticks in the package, but they were half sticks. So, I got a half a pound when I was expecting a pound.
I had asked the gal who reads to me to find the cheapest butter, and that’s what it was, I’m sure. Maybe the fine print said eight ounces, but she didn’t notice and I didn’t think to ask.
Before you rush over with a stick of butter, no worries. I do have enough. But somehow it symbolized for me all the little inconveniences of COVID and the extra level of dependence on others that I experience because of COVID. Grrr!
The languishing antidote
The antidote to languis hing is losing yourself in something, whether that’s an important project, an absorbing book or movie or a great conversation. Make a date with someone or something and keep it.
If possible, put your cellphone away. Constant distractions to check emails and texts cut down on the likelihood that you’ll get absorbed in the project. Make yourself do it even if beforehand you think “why bother?”.
Here are four days of examples, just to get you started thinking of alternatives:
May 1: According to Alexa, it’s “naked gardening day.” I don’t know where she comes from, but even my hardiest gardening friends said they’d take a pass on it. But I went to opening day of the farmers’ market and got rhubarb. I’ll be able to serve sauce for Wednesday’s brunch!
A new dairy was there selling cheese and listed the names of the cows the milk had come from – isn’t that charming? A half hour cruising the market and seeing other people doing the same lifted my mood.
May 2 – Dawn Chorus Day: As we stumbled out for Calvin to do his duties about 5:30 a.m., you could tell this day was named right. I heard at least five different kinds of birds including blue jays, suggesting it may rain.
I spent much of the day immersed in one of Brian Freeman’s mysteries, The Deep Deep Snow. Amazing how a good writer can transport you to someone else’s world.
May 3: I built my Facebook page for the day with a little humor, a few disability issues stories and some inspiring quotes. It’s fun to be able to share good stuff in this way.
May 4: All day was devoted to getting mentally ready for my virtual book talk about Hope of the Crow the following day. In person. I can judge audience reactions by their laughter and little noises that tell me they’re tuned in. I don’t know how to do this virtually. Now I know what it must feel like to walk a tightrope without a net.
Kate Davies in her excellent book Intrinsic Hope: Living Courageously in Troubled Times talks about bearing witness to hope. I hope by sharing a few of my extraordinary, ordinary moments, I’ve encouraged you to develop your own antidotes for languishing